By Kimberly Harper
Anyone who’s ever worked retail will tell you: The holiday season is a nightmare. But if working at the mall is bad, those who opt to work for one of the country’s biggest department stores as one of Santa’s helpers are descending into a very special level of hell, indeed. But from the worst situations sometimes springs the best comedy, and that’s the present Gamm has given us this year: The Santaland Diaries, a hilarious one-man, one-act show that depicts author David Sedaris’ actual stint as a NYC Macy’s elf.
Actor Steve Kidd plays Crumpet the elf, who is not exactly the poster child for Christmas cheer, what with his pajama pants, tattered hoodie and bong. But being a struggling actor means taking the jobs that are available, and against all odds, this unkempt stoner is chosen among many hopefuls to wear a coveted elf costume and escort thousands of children and their equally whiny parents through Santaland.
Classic Christmas this is not. What it is, is crisp, witty, practically a standup routine at times, and irreverent. Crumpet deals with abusive parents, racist parents, insane coworkers (struggling artists are an eclectic bunch), Santas who take themselves just a little too seriously, and, of course, children, many of them whiny and poorly named. (“And what’s your name? Oh. Van.”) On Christmas Eve, when 22,000 patrons descend upon the winter wonderland, Crumpet manages to find a moment of true human connection amid the madness. This moment is immediately destroyed when his manager starts swearing at a customer, but that’s beside the point.
Oh, and there are penguins.
Kidd handles the material, which was adapted for the stage by Joe Mantello, perfectly. He doesn’t try to put his own spin on things, just relates the insanity around him with the air of an outsider, which is perfectly fitting to the role. Crumpet may be an elf, but he’s not like the others. He doesn’t stay in character long after the customers have gone, or cover radios in human hair, or make his fellow elves engage in holiday sing-alongs. He’s a guy who took the job on a dare and is now engaging in some serious Christmas anthropology, and we’re lucky enough to be along for the ride.
The Santaland Diaries is only at The Gamm through Dec. 23, and tickets sell fast. Take a break from your own holiday madness and enjoy someone else’s. It’s definitely an hour well spent.
Tickets to The Santaland Diaries are $44, with a student price of $20, and may be obtained online at gammtheatre.org or by calling 401.723.4266. The Sandra Feinstein Gamm Theatre is located at 172 Exchange St., Pawtucket.
